News
The Round Up asks: "Why do we play these silly games?"
8 August 2007
Analyze This, 1999 (synopsis): When Paul Vitti (Robert de Niro), one of New York's most powerful gangsters, prepares to assume the role of head of his crime family, he begins to experience severe anxiety and panic attacks. Enter Dr. Ben Sobol (Billy Crystal), a psychiatrist whose attempts to get him in touch with his feelings often lead to hilarious consequences.
Renaissance, 2006-2007 (synopsis): A rag tag collection of artists move from leafy Wandsworth to über hip Camden and are soon picked on by the local bullies who are all adept in football. Enter Xawfrus, a young coach, whose attempts to teach them football and win a seven-a-side league tournament often lead to hilarious consequences.
Oh yes the silly season has descended upon us once more and it's a chance for The Round Up to chew the fat on what ought to be another day full of frivolous news stories, superfluous attention-grabbing headlines, and meaningless opening paragraphs. Ah, who are we kidding? It's always the silly season here at Renai HQ, and this period of the summer is more appropriately named the sillier season (not to be confused with The Even Sillier Season aka the lacklustre pre-OMT campaign).
Despite the stupefying scent of silliness in the air there are a couple of significant matches taking place in Camden league tonight which may go some way towards deciding whether Renaissance bother making that Sunday afternoon trip to B&Q to buy a terracotta mantle piece. The first game of the evening pits third placed Avalon against league leaders Recreativo. Just four points separate the two in-form teams in the league, and Avalon, unbeaten in five games must win to keep their flickering title hopes alive.
Next on the bill is Renaissance vs. Ted Baker. The record between these two teams reads:
Renaissance - Wins: 3; Losses: 2; Goals for: 19; Goals against: 19.
The Minus Column says:
Although we got the scoreline like, er, way wrong last week, we did name the winner correctly and normally predict the result with a greater degree of accuracy (roughly a two goal margin of error). The face-saving alternative predictions are in parentheses below.
The time-honoured tradition of high scoring games between these two continues as Renaissance come out on top in closely fought encounter.
Avalon 2 - 4 Recreativo (Rec to win by max. 4 goals).
FremantleMedia 2 - 3 Venezuela (Ven to win by max. 3 goals).
Things we know
Looking ahead to the new season and as always there'll be new signings, players transferring sides, and teams waving goodbye. So, in the spirit of the silly season The Round Up has assembled the latest rumours, trumours, and utter unspeakables for you to digest. DISCLAIMER: The following contains known knowns. Things we know that we know. Known unknowns -- i.e. things that we know we don't know. And also unknown unknowns -- things we don't know we don't know. Oh the poetry!
Recreativo keeper, Jordi, is set to walk away from the game and establish an orange farm in Sevilla or join FC Osasuna.
Specialists have warned Ted Baker forward Renzo Sorenti that the severe ligament damage he sustained earlier this season would be serious enough to end the career of a professional footballer.
Bruised and battered and not knowing himself, Jin Ho Park will leave Avalon and return to the K-League's Pohang Steelers. Or the streets of Philadelphia.
Think Piers Zangana is going to join Recreativo next season? Recreativo don't.
The number of former TenAlpsEnterprise strikers at Renaissance will decrease by one when Megatron ignites his jet boosters and ascends into outer space.
[Insert the name of a former actor from the cast of Neighbours here] is among the candidates willing to coach FC Warne after offering them his services, and more importantly, his one bedroom flat in Earls Court as advertised on Gumtree.
Six. That's the number of ludicrously named teams that will participate in the autumn league when Urine Trouble FC submit their application form.
Psychology Allstars have lodged a bid for their former player Scholesey and are awaiting a reply from Renaissance ... with hilarious consequences.
And now a word from our sponsors about lengthy jazz interludes ...
Someone please pass the sodding peas and tell Maceo to hurry up and eat his dinner!!
© 2007 Renaissance | site by: chingo
Renaissance glossary
merk
1. to make someone look foolish.
2. to embarrass or humiliate someone and brag in the aftermath.
hot cake (also known as hot potato)
a stray pass made in a rushed manner;
usually said when a number of quick passes result in the oppostion regaining possession.
(e.g. "It's a hotcake!")
Check out more definitions from the Renaissance Glossary.