News
Threat level raised to "severe"
Terror level raised to "Ernie"
6 August 2007
Renaissance's annihilation of FremantleMedia last week has been declared a "senseless act of terrorism" by Top Corner officials and forced the security services to raise Renaissance's threat level to "severe" for the first time in 15 months.
A Top Corner flunkey attempted to diffuse the furore surrounding last week's atrocities which left an unfeasibly large hole in Fremantle's goal difference, "We are working 24 hours a day to deter the terrorist threat across our football and netball leagues.
We've got 917 potential terrorist acts waiting to happen in London at any one time and some are bound to literally slip through the net. We can't be held responsible for every single terrorist act that occurs in small pockets of Camden."
Sources close to Top Corner are said to have earmarked Renaissance's clash with FC Warne on 22 August as a potentially explosive fixture and are primed to raise the threat level to "critical" i.e. -- an attack is expected imminently, in case Renaissance come out with all guns blazing. Meanwhile, Ted Baker's defences have been placed on blue alert in anticipation of this Wednesday's game.
A Renaissance spokesperson refused to be drawn into the affair, "We're simply not going to embroil ourselves in this imbroglio.
Woo!"
© 2007 Renaissance | site by: chingo
Renaissance glossary
private project
a short-lived affair with a mysterious woman.
twine
used when mad skillz are performed to twist, turn, and bankrupt a player.
Check out more definitions from the Renaissance Glossary.