News
Renaissance for dummies; but "You Can!"
He can. Can you?
18 April 2007
Did you hear that? It's the sound of near silence. The hideous, encroaching, lonely emptiness of mid-table existence and misery. Nothingness. The predicament of men forced to live in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation. Or something like that.
Renaissance are playing Recreativo tonight and for once there's not a hoot of fanfare, not a single trumpet to be sounded, not a clock counting down to zero hour, nor even a scantily-clad cheerleader parading enthusiastically in the streets.
The pomp, ceremony and unabashed chest beating that normally accompany this game have been replaced with the altogether more serene sound of crickets chirping and tumbleweed wafting in the breeze. And there's one other sound we can hear in the distance... the mechanical ding of a typewriter.
For Renaissance have just applied the finishing touches to their latest self-help guide: "How to lose a league in seven days" and will make a guest appearance at a book signing in Camden to peddle their eagerly awaited tome.
It'll make diverting reading for those who haven't quite mastered the art of letting the league slip out of their grasp in such astonishing fashion and we've heard the chapters on "Tinkering" and "Being Fed on a Diet of Sheeeit" are quite illuminting. But don't take our word for it, there's every chance another sorry chapter will be written tonight.
Unless Renaissance invoke the spirit of Zaltar and do like Peter O'Toole...
YOU CAN!!!
Play it again Sam?
In the most intruguing "will they, won't they?" scenario since The Round Up placed a wager on England's cricket team scoring less than 160 runs against South Africa, it has transpired that Renaissance are debating the merits of pursuing another season.
An Extraordinary Meeting will be convened shortly to discuss the two stark choices laid on the table: a) toil in an office all summer where respite means staring into the abyss with one eye while the other is jabbed repeatedly with a fork or b) make the most of the Prime Years™. It's gonna be a loooooooooooooong discussion so refreshments and a first aid kit will be nearby in case anyone faints while reaching a conclusion over a seemingly cheap steak tough decision.
Whilst The Round Up may not be taking "The Committee" seriously, Jan Rembrandt of Hesselink is leaving no Powerpoint slideshow unplayed: "I propose that everyone comes to this meeting with their own drafted manifestos on an A4 sheet. Can someone please buy a wooden hammer and pad as I would like the hammer be dropped on the pad as a show of approval to anyone's requests?"
Tonight's fixtures
FC Warne v Psychology Allstars
Venezuela v Enterprise FC
Crickets Chirping v Water Rushing
© 2007 Renaissance | site by: chingo
Renaissance glossary
woo!
an exclamation of delight, appreciation, and congratulation.
most often used when a goal is scored or an outrageous skill or feat performed.
there's two here!
used when a Renaissance player is inconveniently left marking two players in a dangerous position.
always yelled.
Check out more definitions from the Renaissance Glossary.