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Return of the Fortnightly Round up
You know what time it is
24 January 2007
We're going to go out on a limb today and make a prediction on Renaissance's game with FC Warne. Actually, we're going out on two limbs but who's counting?
Number one: £50 says FC Warne either cancel tonight's game or fail to turn up without notifying anyone. Limb number two: The match holds and Renaissance go on to deliver one of the most breathtaking toe-to-toe destructions ever witnessed at Haverstock.
Poor Warne. It's not often you'll hear us saying that but so dismal have their efforts been so far this season (two games, two defeats, 103 goals conceded) that Renaissance could comfortably defeat them playing with a couple of limbs missing.
So confident are Renaissance of victory that The Realist believes they can even surpass the record number of goals scored in a single match set by NW5. "Everyone is focused and ready to give 100% effort in trying to get the record of 15 goals scored by one team", he slurred in between sips of a mango margarita cocktail.
FC Warne will do well to end up with figures of 12 for 1 but Renaissance shouldn't be so cocksure. The last time they predicted a cricket scoreline against a supposedly inferior team they ended up losing points and momentum to none other than perennial over achivers Ten Alps.
Auld Renaissance meets Nu Renaissance
Kenneth Umeh. Mild mannered, unassuming gentleman by day, a raving, acrobatic goalkeeper turned forward by night. For when Kenneth dons a blue shirt, an amazing transformation occurs. Kenneth is Verrocchio. Ever alert for the call to action. Verrocchio is the first Renaissance man to assume a different identity: Xawfrus between the posts and Verrocchio outside the box. He represents Auld Renaissance.
And introducing Masaccio also known as Mark Bradbury. The name Masaccio is a humorous version of Tommaso - meaning big or clumsy or messy Tom, possibly given because of his disorganised lifestyle and lax personal hygiene. It may have been created to distinguish him from his principal collaborator, also called Tommaso, who came to be known as Masolino (delicate Tom). So there.
What cost a cancellation?
Misfortune and Renaissance are now officially bosom buddies and their relationship may well be consummated tonight. A fortnight ago Renaissance were handed a 3-0 victory after Psychology Allstars failed to show up for the game. But Renaissance were disappointed by Top Corner's refusal to offer better compensation for the last minute withdrawal, especially since Allstars had been seriously shellacked in previous games. The mandatory 3-0 scoreline perversly gave Allstars their best result of the season -- a dubious accolade and made a mockery of such punitive measures.
Goal difference could easily be a deciding factor this season and if this result costs Renaissance there'll be no prizes for guessing who won't be receiving a £1000 cheque come the end of the season.
Latest results
17 January 2007
Fremantle Media 3 - 5 Enterprise FC
Ted Baker 9 - 0 FC Warne
Venezuela 3 - 1 Recreativo de Londres
10 January 2007
FC Warne 1 - 11 Fremantle Media
Renaissance 3 - 0 Psychology Allstars
Ted Baker 4 - 1 Enterprise
And finally...
The good news is that current statistics, match reports, and player profiles will be available when Renaissance play their next game proper. And if you can't wait until March then these fortnightly updates will have to suffice. The bad news for FC Warne is that Renaissance have a full squad from which to choose.
Renaissance (from):
Masaccio; Rembrandt, The Shaman, Brunelleschi; Col, The Realist, Cartman, The Artist; Da Vinci, Verrocchio.
This round up was brought to you by the letter R and number 15.
© 2007 Renaissance | site by: chingo
Renaissance glossary
there's two here!
used when a Renaissance player is inconveniently left marking two players in a dangerous position.
Always yelled.
hot cake (also known as hot potato)
a stray pass made in a rushed manner.
usually said when a number of quick passes result in the oppostion regaining possession. (e.g. "It's a hotcake!")
Check out more definitions from the Renaissance Glossary.